THE STORY OF ME, MY BOOB & MY BABE
Over the years DH often asked me "baby if we ever have kids will you please breastfeed?" and i always replied "ehh...noooo wayyyy!!" with disgust! I absolutely hated the idea, I was repulsed by it! For one, i didn't think i ever really wanted kids, i loved my life as it was, my independence, my socialising, our holidays & weekends away, spending my money on me, me, me, clothes, make-up, alcohol, shoes, cappucinos, lunch with the girls - not sacrificing it all on nappies and baby wipes. And on top of that, I hated the idea of becoming a human cow, with some baby hanging off me all day long! My boobs were mine! Small and not perfect but mine!!!
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After researching local hospitals in preparation for the birth I was
concerned that the aftercare was not going to reliably get me started
well with breastfeeding as the midwives are over-stretched and
repeatedly reviews by mums of their hospital experiences dealt with
being left without any significant assistance once the baby was born,
- and hence that phrase we all hear so often 'some women can't
breastfeed' (ie: they can, but they haven't had the right support to
get started). |
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Just over 14 months ago the most beautiful little girl came into my life, born screaming at 11 pounds 1 ounce I yearned to bond with my daughter. As the first days passed and I struggled with BF and also with my feelings of guilt at not immediately loving her, well meaning visitors offered their pearls of wisdom" you'll never be able to feed her", "bigger babies need formula", "don't be such a martyr", knowing that I did not feel that immediate rush of love filled me with such all consuming guilt, i'd choke on my tears and the fear that I would never love my children equally haunted me daily. |
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I had always planned to breastfeed as my Mum had breastfed all of us, as had my husband’s mother. Most of my friends had also breastfed. Despite all of the support, and baby latching on right from birth, I found it extremely difficult at the beginning. I had a lot of pain when breastfeeding for several weeks, and then developed thrush. However, apart from momentary lapses when feeds were very painful at the beginning, I never planned on switching to bottle. |
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Breast feeding is something that, to me, was one of the most natural things in the world and is now something I feel very passionately about. I was breast fed, so was my brother. The Dad was breast fed, the only one of four. My aunt has breast fed all three of her boys. My three sisters in law breast fed all their children. So of course I was always going to breast feed. |
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